"You're No Good"

This season certainly won’t be the first time that True Blood attempts to mirror real life events in its plotlines, but it might be the most obvious. With the introduction of vampire experimentation camps, as well as the seizure of all vampire property and a loss of vampire rights, I’m starting to see a pattern here and that pattern looks a lot like a vampire holocaust. While currently this tragedy is kept within the borders of Louisiana, it may not be long before the hatred spreads countrywide and all vampires have a serious problem on their hands.

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After slipping into a vision where he watched many vampires meet the true death, Bill feels it is his personal responsibility to protect not only his own friends and family, but also all vampires worldwide. Talk about being self-righteous. While Bill may have thought he was indestructible, the sun certainly proved him wrong when he burst into flames as the sun rose over Bon Temps. Honestly, I was quite tickled watching Bill run around like the human torch screaming bloody murder, but sadly that moment of joy ended quickly as Bill re-entered his southern mansion to join a horrified Jessica. Sometime during his body barbeque, Bill decided that what vampires need the most is synthetic faerie blood and what better place to get that than from his terrified ex? Bill may be a prophet of Lilith now but he seems to have lost the part of his brain that provided him with common sense. Bill somehow enters Sookie’s house uninvited, threatens to kidnap her when she declines him her blood and eventually leaves with a very mature, “you’re dead to me, Sookie.” Aw Bill, is Sookie ruining your life? How mean of that Sookie to want to keep her own blood.

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Meanwhile, Eric is busy trying to save the vampire race from Governor Burrell in his own way, you know, the way that includes kidnapping the Governor’s daughter, Willa. Although Eric had planned on killing the angelic young women, he soon realizes she means much more to him alive than dead. Per usual, Eric gathers his gang of loyal followers (aka Pam and unfortunately, Tara) and goes into hiding. Eric begins to unravel some secrets from the fresh-faced Willa but not before he realizes that she may be on his side after all. I mean at one point she actually tries to lick blood from his ear. Before long the governor has tracked Eric’s phone and is after the fugitive vampires. As Eric attempts to distract Governor Burrell on the phone, Tara takes the opportunity to escape from the hideout with Willa in tow. If there is ever a point in the show where Tara is not being the worst, please let me know.

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Not too far away, Sookie is starting to realize that her own species of Fae is in danger as well. As Sookie so kindly points out to her faerie grandfather Niall, she has been in constant danger since meeting Bill and she can handle the stress pretty well. Niall, being the boss that he is, tells Sookie that Warlow is the most dangerous predator she has yet to face and that he will stop at nothing to capture her. He even tells Sookie that Warlow destroyed the faerie club and killed all of her friends and guardians. At this point, Sookie is starting to take Niall seriously, but she is a bit distracted by both Jason and Ben. Jason may have admitted to being crazy and seeing his dead parents, but his head trauma is only getting worse. Meanwhile, Ben has agreed to join Niall in his fight against Warlow in order to protect Sookie but the sexual tension between the two is quite noticeable. If there is one thing Sookie does not need right now, it’s a handsome man distracting her from her mission to kill Warlow and save her brother. In a weird turn of events, Niall discovers Nora outside of Sookie’s house, who also happens to be trying to track Warlow. Do I see a vampire-faerie alliance in our near future?

As for the other dominant species in True Blood, the werewolves are causing problems yet again. After the wolves are confronted by Nicole and her band of followers, who are fully equipped with recording devices, the wolves decide to greet them warmly by ripping all of their throats out, except for Nicole that is. In a twist of good luck for the Nicole, Sam was watching close by in owl form, waiting for a chance to snatch Emma from the heavily guarded wolf camp. As the fight begins to break out, Sam quickly grabs Emma and the two of them run after Nicole to save her from the out-of-control pack. So much for peace between all species, right Nicole?

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The best part of this week’s episode was definitely the reemergence of Reverend Steve Newlin. As Steve arrives at a vampire experimentation camp, his big-haired southern ex-wife, Sarah, greets him, and boy has Sarah been busy. After Steve came out of both the closet and the coffin, Sarah took the opportunity to write a best selling book chronicling her experiences with the Reverend turned vampire, as well as climb the rankings of the anti-vampire movement. Although this scene was short, I am never disappointed by the Newlins and I strongly hope that we see more of them this season.

To tie up this week’s episode, Bill is approached by Sheriff Andy Bellefleur, who apologetically tells Bill that there is a vampire curfew and he must return home. Bill, being the weirdo southern gentleman he is, obliges but not before noticing the children’s toys in Andy’s backseat; the toys of four faerie children. I guess we are left to believe that Bill is going to kidnap his own relatives in an attempt to mass-produce their blood. Following the second episode of this season, I thought maybe Bill was going to be good after all, but then after this episode, it’s clear that he is just as crazy as ever. Long live anyone who is willing to kill Bill!