After last night, I need to admit it's becoming a little uncomfortable to watch Dance Moms.
There's only so much fun to be had shouting at your TV because, surprise surprise, Abby Lee Miller has gone and said something terrible again. But after last night's episode, there's only so much of the sound of little girl's hearts and minds being broken that I can take.
Despite all my previous statements of lack of emotions, I do have a soul, guys.
Here's my impression of Abberz:
"I owe you nothing! You're lucky to get this solo! Stop crying! Use your brains! This is your mother's fault! I can replace you! I make the team! You're all replaceable! I don't need any of you! I'm the one who makes superstars. You're nothing without me! WHY ARE YOU CRYING, STOP CRYING!"
Damn...that was a pretty good impersonation.
Oh really, Abby, so you're the King Maker? Hmmm, let's see... Let's check out our home girl Luam, who is NOT an ALDC alum, but has managed to dance with some people you may be familiar with. *cough*Beyonce, Rihanna, Britney Spears*cough*
Compare that to Abby's BRILLIANT (so much sarcasm) Hip Hop choreography here. "But those are adults in Luam's video! That's not a fair comparison. Besides, you know Abby's dances are more about technique" you say. Okay, let's level the playing field:
These girls are 7 and have so much swag that it puts me to shame PLUS this video has over 22 million hits. What say you now, Abby?
Here's what I think Lifetime needs to do in order to level the playing field again, because it's so easy for Abby to sit their and spew critiques and hateful comments. I say Abby needs to put her money where her mouth is and needs to perform a number. Not at a concert, but in the studio.
THEN the kids should get to yell and berate her. Look, Abby isn't about to break out into tears and she certainly doesn't have the body to do what her dancers done (so again Abby, you should probably shut up,) but if it's sooooooooooooo easy Abberz should probably be able to come up with something feasible, right?
Till that day comes, I say we get this started: #AbbyLeeShutUpPlease.