Manti Te’o: Stupid or Really Stupid?

Man-oh-Manti, this story is a weird mix of unbelievable and depressing...

By now, you've heard the story of Manti Te'o and his fake dead girlfriend. If you haven't heard about it yet, we'll give you the cliff notes version. But honestly, come out of that rock you're living under.

That does not look comfortable

That does not look comfortable

Manti Te'o is the Notre Dame football star that overcame tragedy last September when both his grandmother and girlfriend passed away on the same day. 3 days later, Te'o 

records 12 tackles in leading the Irish to an upset win over Michigan State. This guy is a trooper!

What makes the story so heartbreaking is that Lennay Kekua (the girlfriend) was in a car accident that left her "on the brink of death," only for doctors to discover she has Leukemia. Alas! But loyal Manti would stay on the phone with her at night, simply to help her sleep. Apparently, just knowing he was on the other line, even if he was already fast asleep, helped her through the pain.

Someone get me a box of tissues.

And OF COURSE, in the event of her death, Lennay instructed Manti not to come home for her funeral, but honor her memory by continuing to play for the fightin' Irish. Our boy Manti went and did just that, and sent flowers to her funeral instead.

This all makes for a touching story, save for one thing:

She doesn't exist.

Scratching your head saying "What?" Yup. Us too.

The "mastermind" behind this giant hoax is some dude named Ronaiah Tuiasosopo (FUN FACT:  Ronaiah Tuiasosopo auditioned for The Voice !) It's still unclear how Ronaiah and Manti know each other, but they've sent public messages to each other through twitter.  Stealing some poor girls photos off her Facebook and Instagram accounts is easy enough to make a fake profile, but there are some questions out there that Manti needs to answer if he wants us to believe he wasn't in on the hoax.

Manti is going around stating that he's been the victim of a terrible joke (He totally got Catfished. that a thing? We're making it a thing) and he was in no way part of the hoax. Okay, riddle us this:

  1. You guys met after Stanford's 45-38 victory over Notre Dame in Palo Alt.
  2. When you were just friends, you would both meet in Hawaii to get together.
  3. You talk to her nightly on the phone.
  4. You sent flowers to a funeral that actually did not take place.

So according to your own story, you've met at least twice and spoke to her quite frequently over the phone. YOU. MET. TWICE. That's sort of an odd thing to say when you're trying to sell the story that you've been victimized.

We donned our CSI and Sherlock Holmes gear and the only plausible solution is that Ronaiah had a female friend who looked similar enough to the picture meet Manti, as well as talking to him on the phone. Ronaiah then sat back and stroked his cat and laughed evilly. 

Visual approximation of Ronaiah  

Visual approximation of Ronaiah

Except that would take a lot of time and effort on the part of the lady friend, and ain't nobody got time for that.

So either Manti is stupid or he's really stupid. The smartest thing he could do right now....actually, we're not sure how to get out of this one without looking like an even bigger idiot. 

We'll leave you with a comment by a tvgasm user that pretty much sums it up:

Lance Armstrong is hellapissed that somebody upstaged him in the tour de douche.
— Considerthis