There are basically 4 ways to feel about Justin Bieber:
- OH MY GOD I’M A BELIEBER MARRY ME JUSTIN I LOVE YOUR PURPLE HOODIES
- I don’t really get the whole Bieber thing, but apparently he’s actually like a musical prodigy, so that’s cool, I guess.
- I cannot, in my wildest dreams, imagine giving one single shit about Justin Bieber.
- He looks like a lesbian.
No matter which of these categories you fall into, I’m willing to bet you’ll keep reading this article. You know why? Because we're about to list the 6 most scandalous/less than brilliant things that Justin has ever done, and Belieber or not, everyone loves a good scandal.
Side Note: If your feelings are in line with item number 1 on our list, that's totally cool. I think next time we go to war, we should send you guys out because y'all are scary and intense. Whenever JB performs at the Garden, I have to quietly sneak my way around and inside Penn Station, lest one of you kills me in a fit of passion if I delay you from seeing Justin.
Rolling Stone: First Edition
In a 2011 Rolling Stone interview, JB managed to piss off just about everyone, from women’s rights groups, to soccer moms, to both Democrats and Republicans, to Koreans. In case you missed it, here were some highlights from the interview.
Sex before marriage? Sure, why not.
“I don’t think you should have sex with anyone unless you love them.”
“I really don’t believe in abortion. It’s like killing a baby.”
The US Healthcare Crisis? Apparently American citizens are evil.
“You guys are evil.”
“Canada’s the best country in the world.”
And what about politics?
“I’m not sure about the parties…but whatever they have in Korea, that’s bad.”
At this year’s Academy Awards, Justy appeared alongside Billy Crystal in the opening segment of the show. While Justin didn't actually do anything wrong, Billy Crystal was in blackface (As Sammy Davis, Jr.) which wasn't received super well by, ya know, everyone.
Baby Mama Mariah (Yeater)
In 2011, Mariah Yeater slapped Biebs with a paternity lawsuit -- claiming that her son (with the tragically spelled name, “Tristyn”) was conceived after a 30-second tryst with Bieber in a public bathroom. While the suit was dropped just a few weeks later because it was completely fictitious (Justin says he’s never even met Yeater,) Justin still took a paternity test, and at the end of the show, Maury Povich opened up his little card and proclaimed “Justin, you are NOT the father,” and everyone in the audience went mental and Mariah started crying and Justin leapt out of his chair yelling “YEAH BOY” while the credits rolled.
Mama Mariah (Carey)
Last Christmas JB teamed up with another Mariah (Mariah Carey) to further beat to death record a new rendition of Carey’s classic “All I want for Christmas is You.” In my mind the fact that they subjected the world to this is grounds enough for a scandal, but the real hullabaloo came from moms who thought Justin and Mariah looked a bit too friendly in the music video. While I think they definitely overreacted, I kind of get it. Mariah is pushing it in a sexy Santa dress and she’s cuddling a “sexy” 17 year-old in a sleigh. It's not a sight most people want to see. But is it going to scar your children? According to this magic 8 ball, "all signs point to no."
Rolling Stone: Second Edition
Because he didn’t quite get his fill of saying insane things in Rolling Stone in 2011’s interview, Bieber came back for seconds. This time, instead of vaguely offending just about everyone, he chose to very acutely offended American Indians / Eskimos / Inuits by saying, “I’m actually part Indian. I think Inuit or something? I'm enough per cent that in Canada I can get free gas.” The Congress of Aboriginal Peoples wasn’t thrilled with the insinuation that they somehow got a free ride, especially given the fact that the only reason they get free gas is because, ya know, of the genocide and systematic land-stealing that happened a couple centuries ago.
Your Royal Hairless
Known for his plentiful and lesbian-like locks, the 18-year-old doesn’t need to worry about his own hair (well, not yet, at least...male pattern balding is a cruel, cruel thing,) but that doesn’t mean he can’t worry about others’ follicle shortcomings. In a recent interview with British mag, Rollercoaster, Bieber ruminated about the Prince William’s situation, saying: “I mean, there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia. I don’t know why he doesn’t just get those things, those products... Have you not got it over here?” While certainly bizarre and pretty offensive to Prince William and Britain (apparently a country so backwards it hasn’t even heard of Rogaine yet,) it is oddly sweet that he cares. Right guys? Right?
Did we miss anything? What's next for Le Biebz? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!