Let’s be honest: Scientology is not a religion, it’s a cult. Furthermore, it’s a really, really weird cult. Founded by B-List SciFi writer, L Ron Hubbard, (who bears a striking resemblance to Dr. Evil) Scientology’s followers believe that 75 million years ago Xenu (Dictator of the Galactic Confederacy) brought billions of people-like-creatures to earth, stacked them around volcanoes, then killed them all with hydrogen bombs. They believe other things, too of course -- but once you got to “Dictator of the Galactic Confederacy” I bet you were pretty convinced that these people are batshit, so no need to belabor the point.
While Scientology has a number of famous followers (Will Smith and John Travolta included,) Tom Cruise is one of the cult’s most notoriously enthusiastic members (if you haven’t seen his phenomenally insane Scientology endorsement, do it now, it’s 10 minutes long, but worth every second of your time,) and when his (now ex) wife, Katie Holmes, converted, they became the closest thing Scientology has to a royal couple.
Katie was raised Catholic, but converted to Scientology after she and Tom started their bizarre courtship. Seven years as a supercommitted Scientologist later, the twisted fairytale ended and she filed for divorce, and then surprise, just days later, she was a Catholic once again.
With the divorce proceedings finalized, the only question that remains is what will happen to Katie’s mini-me, Suri. In most divorce agreements, the parent with primary custody (Katie) chooses the child’s religion – meaning that now that Holmes has hopped back into the Catholic Church, Suri will be raised Catholic. Still, by law, Tom has a right to “introduce” Suri to his beliefs… given Tom’s level of commitment my guess is that an introduction will end up looking a lot more like an indoctrination.
What do you guys think? Is the girl who made toddlers in high heels borderline acceptable Scientology’s next poster girl? Or is Katie going to get her as far away from Scientology (and Tom) as possible?