Teen Mom 2 Jenelle Evans: The Queen of Good Decisions

If you watch Teen Mom 2, you're quite familiar with Jenelle Evans. Conversely, if you don't watch Teen Mom 2, do not start. The show will whittle away at your soul until there is nothing left but the empty husk of your former self.

I couldn't find a picture of a lifeless husk, but I think this picture of Courtney Stodden works pretty well.

I couldn't find a picture of a lifeless husk, but I think this picture of Courtney Stodden works pretty well.

Janelle got pregnant by her then boyfriend, Andrew, when she was 17 and you know what? That's just fine. Plenty of people make mistakes. When I was 5, I thought it would be hysterical to kick one of my male classmates in his nether regions (which after the fact, I was informed this was the opposite of hysterical. Hindsight is 20/20) and I can proudly say I have never repeated the action. Because I learned from my mistake.

Janelle does not learn from her mistakes, ladies and gentlemen. Let's take a look at some of the choices she's made, and then together we can ponder how she manages to put on clothing in the morning, never mind take care of a child.

  • Arrested with then boyfriend Keiffer Delp for breaking and entering and drug possession
  • Engaged for two weeks to on-again off-again boyfriend, Gary Head, who has been arrested for assaulting Jennelle
  • Received breast implants (Gotta make sure the girls look good, screw buying diapers)
  • Arrested for an alleged probation violation after she tested positive for weed and opiates
  • Had nude photos of herself leaked publicly
  • Marijuana and alleged Heroin user
  • Repeat offender of failing drug tests

Then, there is this gem:

Don't worry, she didn't get to make a decision about the concert because she ended up in jail after failing another drug test.  Let's take a direct quote from what I'm sure is Janelle's book titled "How to Parent Good and Stuff":

After working all day my mom was not in the mood to watch Jace tonight, but my friends are throwing a party and I’m going.

That's right, you go girl! You show them that they can't hold you back! Go get your party on and just hope that your abandoned child doesn't get mauled by a pack of rabid farm animals. Don't ask me how little Jace finds himself in a scenario with rabid farm animals, but I'm sure with Jenelle, anything is possible. I'd put a picture of rabid farm animals here, but just scroll back up and look at Courtney again.

The kicker is that fellow teen mom Farrah Abraham called the other MTV teen mothers "very not intelligent." For that statement Farrah, I'm giving you this: