Move over Lindsay Lohan, there’s a new hot mess in town. While LiLo has been making a (pretty pathetic) show at “cleaning up her act” over the past year, Mandy has been doing just the opposite. Amanda’s problems started in March, when she was stopped by the LAPD for talking on her cell phone while driving (boring, I know,) but then things quickly started to disintegrate.
April 6th: Baby’s first DUI!
Gotta hand it to her, Amanda knows how to make a splash into the realm of trainwreckdom. Amanda didn’t just get a DUI, she got a DUI after she side-swept a fucking police car.
April 10th: Hit and Run (Volume 1)
Just a few days after her DUI, Manda Panda managed to hit another car (not a police car this time, so that’s good at least,) and then fled the scene.
August 4th: Hit and Run (Volume 2)
August is where things really started to go south for our Li’l Panda Bear -- once again, she couldn’t manage to keep her car from not hitting other cars, and after rear-ending some lady, she drove off without giving her insurance information (allegedly, of course, always allegedly.) The whole “hit-and-run” thing might work for some people who aren’t, say, immediately recognizable, but it’s pretty fucking bold for Amanda to do it.
September 6th: The DMV finally decides maybe MandyPand shouldn’t have a license
Stunningly, after Amanda sideswiped a police officer, the DMV still thought it was A-OK if Amanda stayed on the road. Two hit-and-runs later, though, they thought better of it and suspended her license.
September 10th: Dancing (Driving) in the Dark
I mean, come on, if you’re going to drive with suspended license, at leeeasssssst remember to turn you fucking headlights on at night. That’s like lesson number one in the “How to be a Delinquent but Get Away with it.”
September 11th: Smokin’ on dat Keisha
Just one day after she was pulled over for driving sans headlights, Mandy was videotaped smoking from a “drug pipe” while driving. (Not getting videotaped doing retarded shit is lesson number two.)
Mid-September: Talking with Myself (... and Inanimate Objects)
After Amanda’s driving and drugging incident, things started to seriousssssly unravel. One of her neighbors told TMZ that she had seen Candy Mandy engage in long discussions with inanimate objects... multiple times. I mean, if you don't have real friends, why not I guess.
Mid-September: Problems at the Gym
Look, if I was at the Equinox gym in West fucking Hollywood, I would probably lose my mind too. Still, Mandy has reportedly been seen carrying on conversations with herself and suddenly stopping when she’s on the elliptical to hysterically laugh. At least she’s working out, I guess?
September 16th: Her Car is Finally just Taken Away
After 10 days of clearly not giving a fuck that her license has been suspended, the LAPD finally impounded Mandy’s car. Of course this happened under pretty, pretty weird circumstances though -- she was pulled over in an Airport parking lot, where she was apparently just driving around aimlessly.
September 17th: Dressing Room Hijinks!
So, no one really is sure what went on in the West Hollywood boutique’s dressing room on September 17th... Mandy apparently locked herself in the dressing room for two hours, and when several employees tried to get her to come out she just kept responding “I need more time.” I meannnn, I’m not trying to make snap judgments or anything (maybe she was just trying on a lot of clothes!) but usually if someone confines themselves to a small space (say, a bathroom in a club, for instance,) something is either going up their nose or in their arm
So, could drugs be the culprit for all of Little Panda Bear’s problems? LOLJK of course drugs are the culprit. Let's get down to brass tacks: how long till she heads to rehab?