Sunday Night Shows: Shameless and Girls

What's up, Insticators?

If you're like us, you probably had a hard time choosing what shows to watch last night, because A LOT was on. First off, the Golden Globes was on, hosted by these goddesses:

Kneel, peasants!

Kneel, peasants!

We'll be watching House of Lies on demand tonight, because we fell asleep like the big ol' Meemaws we are-

Example of a Meemaw

Example of a Meemaw

-but we did manage to catch the season premieres of Girls and Shameless. Considered yourself spoiler alerted!


Is...that what I think it is?

Is...that what I think it is?

Holy Schnikeys, Batman. There is a person of color on Girls. We can all stop complaining about how racist the show is for only having white people make up it's cast.

It's funny, though. For all the partying they do in Brooklyn and subway taking in NYC, you'd think a black person (or heck, any race other than Caucasian) would have turned up a lot sooner, no?  Anyhoo, Adam has a serious case of the sads (and broken bones from his accident from last season) and is realizing that he wants and needs Hannah. Just one tiny problem: Hannah has turned her sights on a cute, black, republican (Black Republicans are kind of like Unicorns. You hear about them, but don't really see them) boy she met at a coffee shop. 

Then, Elijah decides he's not gay, he's bisexual. Right.


Elijah is Hannah's gay ex boyfriend (you read that right) who becomes her new roomie. After a little flirtation with Marnie, Elijah is all "Wait, I'm bisexual!" and proceeds to remove his clothing in order to get jiggy with it.

Alas, no jiggying happened. Elijah realized he was lying to himself and no one wins when you lie to yourself :(  We hope Elijah gets plenty of screen time this season, as his observational one liners give us a serious case of the LOLs.


Now, if you're like us, you were watching Shameless last night and got seriously confused to learn that Frank ended up in Mexico. Well, maybe not so much that Frank landed in Mexico after one of his long binges, more confused in the sense of "Wait, did I miss something last season?" Don't worry, You missed nothing, loyal Insticators.

Hola, Frank!

Hola, Frank!

Turns out Frank's been gone for quite a while, and we saw how the Gallaghers were kinda okay (and maybe better off) without him. After smuggling 18 sizable drug filled balloons (we'll let you imagine where he put those) over the border, it's a little heartbreaking to see him return home, only to have little Debbie excited to see her father again.

The "Oh damn, I'm glad not to be you!" moment definitely happened to our boy, Jimmy. Jimmy, aka Steve to the Brazillian gangsters, was scooped up by said gangsters and taken to Estefania's. Did they have a big, giant party? Um, not exactly...

It went a little like this...

It went a little like this...

Estefania's father sends a nice big message to Jimmy/Steve in the form of hacking up Estefania's lover, Marco, into itty, bitty pieces.  They flat out kill the dude, and make Jimmy/Steve hold the body while they make it into fish food. Then, they all hopped on a boat for what looked like some yummy looking mimosas, whilst they tossed the remains of Marco's body into the water.

The message was pretty clear. Jimmy/Steve needs to keep his nose clean and making sure his marriage to Estefania appears legitimate so she can stay in the country and get an education. NO PRESSURE!

By the way Jimmy, Ian is boinking your dad. 

What did you watch, Insticators? Are you hoping Ray and Shoshanna get it together on Girls this season? (We do!) Will Fiona's crazy $1,000 investment on Shameless pay off? Let us know in the comments below!

Stuff to Watch this Weekend

We know, we know...a lot of good series went on break in December, and you poor Insticators have been crying out for sweet, sweet television show salvation.

No worries. We're here for you Insticators. Best to run out now, crab some Pizza Bites, Doritos and a few six-packs of whatever tickles your fancy and settle in, cause TV is coming back this weekend, y'all.

1. Portlandia


"Portlandia" features Fred Armisen, Carrie Brownstein and guest stars satirizing such alternative-culture types as the owners of a feminist book store, a bike messenger, a punk-rock couple, and an arty duo obsessed with putting little cut-outs of birds on anything they lay their hands on.

Or you could just watch this:

2. Merlin

Don't tell me to shush

Don't tell me to shush

"Merlin" shows the dramatic outcomes of living in a land of myth and a time of magic, putting a new spin on the story of the famous sorcerer Merlin. Set in the Kingdom of Camelot, the story follows young Merlin's dangerous journey as he, a young prince Arthur and other characters come face to face with legendary and fantastical foes and forces.

Basically, swords and magic and stuff. Serious bromance between Merlin and Arthur, if the fan girls are to be trusted:

3. House of Lies

Survival of the Slickest

Survival of the Slickest

These slick mofo's are back. "House of Lies" gives a subversive, scathing look at a self-loathing management consultant from a top-tier firm. Marty, a highly successful, cutthroat consultant is never above using any means (or anyone) necessary to get his clients the information they want.

Get excited:

4. Shameless


Set in working-class Chicago, "Shameless" features the Gallagher family, a working class family of eight, must survive the ups and downs of today's recession. With a mother who is out of her element and an alcoholic father who usually ends up passed out on the living room floor, 18-year-old daughter Fiona is left with the task of keeping her five younger brothers and sisters on the straight and narrow.

Otherwise known as the show where a lot of unscrupulous shit goes down, also, sex:

5. Californication


"Californication" is about a book writer always running into trouble with sex, drugs and women, while struggling to maintain a relationship with his ex-girlfriend and trying to raise his daughter in a less than normal environment for a teenager.

Cast a guy who went to rehab for sex addiction in the role of a sex fiend? Classic:

That's the quick and dirty round up, Insticators. Did we miss anything? Which show are you just itching to see this weekend? Discuss with us in the comments!

Taylor Swift is Single. Again.

To absolutely no ones surprise, (and to the cries of relief from One Direction fan girls) Taylor Swift is single.


How could this have happened? Wasn't it only a short (really short, actually) while ago when she and her prince charming, Harry Styles, were re-enacting Dirty Dancing?

Weren't they just locking lips (much to the anguished moans of One Direction fan girls) while ringing in the New Years? (Psst! He's the one in the fluffy little hat.)

Alas, this fairy tale was not meant to have a happy ending. According to a source for The Daily Mail:

They were on holiday and had an almighty row. They are two young stars at the top of their game so who knows what will happen in the future.

What follows after is just a bunch of he said, she said, but Taylor has been known to try and turn relationships very serious, very fast. She's expressed concern that she'll never know "true love" ( sounds like an STD to us...) and is desperate to find her prince charming. Which in turn, makes her try to transform every guy she dates into her prince charming. 

Taylor, honey. You're 23. Calm down. If you were 45, overweight and had a lisp (if you are 45, overweight and have a lisp, that's cool, do your thang) I would suggest maybe trying out or whatever. But you're not. You're 23, talented and gorgeous. 

She's already thinking of the lyrics to, what will no doubt be filled with angst, song about Harry Styles.

She's already thinking of the lyrics to, what will no doubt be filled with angst, song about Harry Styles.

Did we mention Swift has gone through 12 guys in the past 4 years? Peep this list:

  1. Joe Jonas
  2. Taylor Lautner 
  3. Lucas Till (You Belong With Me Co-Star)
  4. John Mayer
  5. Cory Monteith (Rumored)
  6. Toby Hemingway (Who!?)
  7. Jake Gyllenhaal (No more apple picking and coffee dates)
  8. Zac Efron (Rumored, but Ellen made a decree that they did, so who are we to argue?
  9. Garrett Hedlund
  10. Eddie Redmayne
  11. Conor Kennedy
  12. Harry Styles

I guess the one benefit is that these guys keep Tay-Tay inspired. Come on Taylor, no one is buying that "Dear John" isn't about John Mayer and "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" isn't about Jakey boy. Kudos, though, Jake was your longest running paramour, topping it off at a year together!

We think T-Swift needs to focus on herself and writing music that isn't about boys that break her heart or her ongoing search for her prince charming. However, we do have a suitor we'd like to suggest for her:


HAHAHAHA, aren't we a riot? If you need us, we'll be in our underground bunker, preparing for the Belieber onslaught.

We think we hear their battle cries already...

Hit us with your thoughts on #TayBer on Twitter at @Insticator_Inc