What's up, Insticators?
If you're like us, you probably had a hard time choosing what shows to watch last night, because A LOT was on. First off, the Golden Globes was on, hosted by these goddesses:
We'll be watching House of Lies on demand tonight, because we fell asleep like the big ol' Meemaws we are-
Holy Schnikeys, Batman. There is a person of color on Girls. We can all stop complaining about how racist the show is for only having white people make up it's cast.
It's funny, though. For all the partying they do in Brooklyn and subway taking in NYC, you'd think a black person (or heck, any race other than Caucasian) would have turned up a lot sooner, no? Anyhoo, Adam has a serious case of the sads (and broken bones from his accident from last season) and is realizing that he wants and needs Hannah. Just one tiny problem: Hannah has turned her sights on a cute, black, republican (Black Republicans are kind of like Unicorns. You hear about them, but don't really see them) boy she met at a coffee shop.
Then, Elijah decides he's not gay, he's bisexual. Right.
Elijah is Hannah's gay ex boyfriend (you read that right) who becomes her new roomie. After a little flirtation with Marnie, Elijah is all "Wait, I'm bisexual!" and proceeds to remove his clothing in order to get jiggy with it.
Alas, no jiggying happened. Elijah realized he was lying to himself and no one wins when you lie to yourself :( We hope Elijah gets plenty of screen time this season, as his observational one liners give us a serious case of the LOLs.
Now, if you're like us, you were watching Shameless last night and got seriously confused to learn that Frank ended up in Mexico. Well, maybe not so much that Frank landed in Mexico after one of his long binges, more confused in the sense of "Wait, did I miss something last season?" Don't worry, You missed nothing, loyal Insticators.
Turns out Frank's been gone for quite a while, and we saw how the Gallaghers were kinda okay (and maybe better off) without him. After smuggling 18 sizable drug filled balloons (we'll let you imagine where he put those) over the border, it's a little heartbreaking to see him return home, only to have little Debbie excited to see her father again.
The "Oh damn, I'm glad not to be you!" moment definitely happened to our boy, Jimmy. Jimmy, aka Steve to the Brazillian gangsters, was scooped up by said gangsters and taken to Estefania's. Did they have a big, giant party? Um, not exactly...
Estefania's father sends a nice big message to Jimmy/Steve in the form of hacking up Estefania's lover, Marco, into itty, bitty pieces. They flat out kill the dude, and make Jimmy/Steve hold the body while they make it into fish food. Then, they all hopped on a boat for what looked like some yummy looking mimosas, whilst they tossed the remains of Marco's body into the water.
The message was pretty clear. Jimmy/Steve needs to keep his nose clean and making sure his marriage to Estefania appears legitimate so she can stay in the country and get an education. NO PRESSURE!
By the way Jimmy, Ian is boinking your dad.
What did you watch, Insticators? Are you hoping Ray and Shoshanna get it together on Girls this season? (We do!) Will Fiona's crazy $1,000 investment on Shameless pay off? Let us know in the comments below!