American Idol Season 12: What's In Store For Us?

Now that this season of X Factor and The Voice is finished, you may be itching for your fix of aspiring music hopefuls. Have no fear, Insticators, for Season 12 of American Idol begins Wednesday, January 16th on FOX. If you're reaaaalllllly desperate to see it sooner, you can catch a free screening in 1 of 11 movie theaters on January 9th, in New York, Philadelphia, Boston, Washington, DC, Atlanta, Detroit, Chicago, Dallas, Houston, Nashville and Los Angeles.

So, what's in store for Season 12? Let's check out some promos:

That was certainly inspiring. Fills you with a lot of hope, yes? They could have just flashed a picture from Obama's campaign, and I think we all still would have gotten the picture...
This works too

This works too

We get it though, they're stressing that anyone, even the construction worker you curse every morning for causing traffic, can be the next American Idol. Just don't give up on your dreams, guys. (Unless your dream is to own a mansion with 2 peacocks named Pinkerton and Reginald, then you should probably give up on that. THANKS MOM, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP CRUSHING MY DREAMS.)

Have a box of tissues handy? Good. Grab them, because this next promo is going to get those tear ducts going:

We're all suckers for an underdog story, and Idol hopeful Lazaro Arbos delivers with a punch. Watching his stuttering is almost painful, but then we're teased with a little tidbit from the judges that he may be a great singer. We'll definitely be tuning in for this one.

Looking for a major #spoiler for next season? Thanks to our friends at The Idol Pad, you can check out the top 40 contestants here! Don't click if you don't want to ruin the surprise! Definitely click if you would like to make unfair bets with your unknowing friends, however.

Moving on, what about the divalicious judges, Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj?

Battle of the Cleavage?

Battle of the Cleavage?

Thanks to our pals over at TMZ, let's remind everyone of the may-or-may-not-have-been-staged catfight that took place back in October:

If you want to follow along at home, you can peep the transcript here.

Allegedly, all is good in the hood between Mariah and Nicki, which leads some to wonder if this was staged by producers to get some pre-season hype. 

Either way, we'll be tuning in to see what ridiculous outfits Minaj will be wearing and pitying the Idol hopefuls who should have had someone back home stop them from embarrassing themselves on National TV.

What are you looking forward to in this new season of Idol, Insticators? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

Gift Giving Guide for Your Fav Celebutards

Happy Holidays, Insticators! It's that time of the year when you come together with your loved ones, enjoy sumptuous food and pop a little bubbly. It's also that time of year when your Aunt Mallory judges all your life choices and Uncle Mark suggests that maybe it's time for you to try online dating. #FAMILYFUN.

Hopefully, you've gotten all your holiday shopping done by now, (if not, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? ARE YOU A MASOCHIST!?) This year has hosted a bunch of celebutards that are in need of a few important gifts themselves. Whip out your notebooks, Insticators, and take down a few pointers from our gift giving guide:

Demi Moore: Some Dignity


Unless you live under a rock, (who does that? Is that even comfortable?) you've seen this picture by now and if you're like us, you cringe every time you see it. Demi, Demi, Demi... get it together, girl. Ease off the Eau de Desperation and give yourself a reality check. You're divorcing Ashton Kutcher. Ashton Kutcher! Not Bradley Cooper or David Beckham, but Ashton "I like to look homeless sometimes" Kutcher. Use the millions of dollars you have to get a slammin' designer outfit that's appropriate for your age and find yourself a hot piece that doesn't need a babysitter. Mid life crisis ain't cute.

Courtney Stodden: A Brain

Ugh, part of me struggled with posting this video, because it will most likely get her more views and she may take that as encouragement.

With that said, just watch the video. I don't need to explain why we're giving her brain.

LeAnn Rimes: Duct Tape and a Feeding Tube


*Sigh* This chick. The Duct Tape is for her mouth, because she seems to have verbal diarrhea about things no. one. cares. about.

For example, her flavor of the moment is talking about the affair she had with Eddie Cibrian while both of them were married to other people. Just because there's nothing interesting about you, doesn't mean you should keep reminding us that the two of you are a bunch of cheating skanks. But no, LeAnn just keeps on yap-yap-yapping like the attention seeker she is. You can read about it here and here (and probably a lot more places, because LeAnn is handing out this story like Halloween Candy.)

The feeding tube is fairly obvious. Homegirl needs several cheeseburgers. Stat.

Mark Sanchez: Not Throwing Interceptions 101


Bringing Tebow in kind of shat on your career, but did it make you lose your faith? Or are you not as good as your first 2 years led us to believe? In any case, Mark needs a refresher course on how to throw to his teammates. This season, the sounds of anguished Jet's fans overshadowed those of Met's fans.

Amanda Bynes: Help


Lordy, it's been a weird year for Bynes. Peep this quote from the "retired actress" herself:

I am not talking about being arrested for DUI because I don’t drink, and I don’t drink and drive. It is all false.

Right. That's why the cops took away your car (which should have happened waaaaay sooner, but we digress.) What's newsworthy now, is whenever Bynes ISN'T in a car accident, because she's acting like she going for Lohan's Most Hit and Runs trophy.


That's an actual tweet from her Twitter account. Apparently, you can just tweet requests to the leader of the free world now! Hey @BarackObama, I know you're busy running our country and shit, but it would be real cool of you to get me a yacht. I have this life long dream of being on a boat while singing The Lonely Island's I'm on a Boat. Dream big guys, dream big.

Amanda's neighbors have been throwing her some side eye, claiming they've noticed her frequently talking to herself or inanimate objects. Bynes apparently locks herself in dressing rooms and public bathrooms, and takes 20 minutes out of spin class to apply make up.  None of this is particularly mind blowing, but her insistence that she is fine makes one wonder if she's a little delusional. We think a little help might go a long way.

What's your take, Insticators? Let us know what gifts you'd bestow on your favorite (or least favorite!) celebutards in the comments below!

The Scandalous Life of Justin Bieber

There are basically 4 ways to feel about Justin Bieber:

  2. I don’t really get the whole Bieber thing, but apparently he’s actually like a musical prodigy, so that’s cool, I guess.
  3. I cannot, in my wildest dreams, imagine giving one single shit about Justin Bieber. 
  4. He looks like a lesbian.

No matter which of these categories you fall into, I’m willing to bet you’ll keep reading this article. You know why? Because we're about to list the 6 most scandalous/less than brilliant things that Justin has ever done, and Belieber or not, everyone loves a good scandal.

Side Note: If your feelings are in line with item number 1 on our list, that's totally cool. I think next time we go to war, we should send you guys out because y'all  are scary and intense. Whenever JB performs at the Garden, I have to quietly sneak my way around and inside Penn Station, lest one of you kills me in a fit of passion if I delay you from seeing Justin.

Rolling Stone: First Edition


In a 2011 Rolling Stone interview, JB managed to piss off just about everyone, from women’s rights groups, to soccer moms, to both Democrats and Republicans, to Koreans. In case you missed it, here were some  highlights from the interview.

Sex before marriage? Sure, why not.

“I don’t think you should have sex with anyone unless you love them.”

Abortion? Nope.

“I really don’t believe in abortion. It’s like killing a baby.”

The US Healthcare Crisis? Apparently American citizens are evil.

“You guys are evil.”

“Canada’s the best country in the world.”

And what about politics? 

“I’m not sure about the parties…but whatever they have in Korea, that’s bad.”



At this year’s Academy Awards, Justy appeared alongside Billy Crystal in the opening segment of the show. While Justin didn't actually do anything wrong, Billy Crystal was in blackface (As Sammy Davis, Jr.) which wasn't received super well by, ya know, everyone.

Baby Mama Mariah (Yeater)


In 2011, Mariah Yeater slapped Biebs with a paternity lawsuit -- claiming that her son (with the tragically spelled name, “Tristyn”) was conceived after a 30-second tryst with Bieber in a public bathroom. While the suit was dropped just a few weeks later because it was completely fictitious (Justin says he’s never even met Yeater,) Justin still took a paternity test, and at the end of the show, Maury Povich opened up his little card and proclaimed “Justin, you are NOT the father,” and everyone in the audience went mental and Mariah started crying and Justin leapt out of his chair yelling “YEAH BOY” while the credits rolled.

Mama Mariah (Carey)


Last Christmas JB teamed up with another Mariah (Mariah Carey) to further beat to death record a new rendition of Carey’s classic “All I want for Christmas is You.” In my mind the fact that they subjected the world to this is grounds enough for a scandal, but the real hullabaloo came from moms who thought Justin and Mariah looked a bit too friendly in the music video. While I think they definitely overreacted, I kind of get it. Mariah is pushing it in a sexy Santa dress and she’s cuddling a “sexy” 17 year-old in a sleigh. It's not a sight most people want to see. But is it going to scar your children? According to this magic 8 ball, "all signs point to no."

Rolling Stone: Second Edition

rolling stone.jpg

Because he didn’t quite get his fill of saying insane things in Rolling Stone in 2011’s interview, Bieber came back for seconds. This time, instead of vaguely offending just about everyone, he chose to very acutely offended American Indians / Eskimos / Inuits by saying, “I’m actually part Indian. I think Inuit or something? I'm enough per cent that in Canada I can get free gas.” The Congress of Aboriginal Peoples wasn’t thrilled with the insinuation that they somehow got a free ride, especially given the fact that the only reason they get free gas is because, ya know, of the genocide and systematic land-stealing that happened a couple centuries ago.

Your Royal Hairless


Known for his plentiful and lesbian-like locks, the 18-year-old doesn’t need to worry about his own hair (well, not yet, at least...male pattern balding is a cruel, cruel thing,) but that doesn’t mean he can’t worry about others’ follicle shortcomings. In a recent interview with British mag, Rollercoaster, Bieber ruminated about the Prince William’s situation, saying: “I mean, there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia. I don’t know why he doesn’t just get those things, those products... Have you not got it over here?”  While certainly bizarre and pretty offensive to Prince William and Britain (apparently a country so backwards it hasn’t even heard of Rogaine yet,) it is oddly sweet that he cares.  Right guys? Right?

Did we miss anything? What's next for Le Biebz? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!

LeAnn Rimes: Sabotaging a Little Girl's $5 Million Recording Contract?

Have you heard of Carly Rose Soneclar? She's the young little powerhouse with a larger than life voice on The X Factor. Seriously, this kid was up there on a Celine Dion kind of level with her performance of "My Heart Will Go On." Skip to the 2 minute mark to cut straight to the performance, 2:50 for when things start to get really good.

Check this out: Lil' homeslice is only 13 years old!  

On last night's episode, this wunderkind busted out her rendition of "How Do I Live?" and to no one's shock, she killed it.

Then, the original singer, LeAnn Rimes came out and joined her. Watch this uh, performance, and judge for yourself:

Folks on the interwebz are speculating that Rimes had a little (or a lot) of "liquid courage" prior to joining Carly Rose on stage. This could be jumping to unfair conclusions. Yes, she didn forget lyrics in 2 obvious places, seemed to have a little trouble standing upright and her voice was a little odd, but we all have our off days.

Look, you guys don't always find my blog posts hysterical, and that's fine (I just go sit in a corner and sob into my bag of Doritos) because no one can be 100% all of the time. Maybe Rimes was having a 50% day.

What everyone seems to agree on, however, is that Rimes made several attempts to upstage Carly Rose during the performance. Some scales and notes seemed casually thrown in, (and not to improve the song either) creating awkward timing for Carly Rose to have to juggle with to get the song flowing again. We're not the only ones thinking how awkward this performance was. Peep Brit-Brit's face when the camera cuts to her:

It's like Brit-Brit wants to apologize for picking this song in the first place...

It's like Brit-Brit wants to apologize for picking this song in the first place...

IF LeAnn was drunk and/or IF she purposely went out to upstage Carly Rose, that's extremely unprofessional. Then again, we're talking about a woman who just wrote a song about her affair with Eddie Cibrian when they were still married to other people.

Could this have wrecked Carly Rose's chance at winning The X Factor? Maybe. But Carly Rose acted like a true professional, and that could win major points in her favor. If anything, she should be judged on her talent and her talent alone.

What's your take on the situation, Insticators? Do you think LeAnn's "performance" brought Carly Rose down last night? Or will she still have a chance of taking home the prize after tonight's finale?